Sad of myself

Sad of myself

I don’t understand what happiness is

And how to get it

I tried to make myself happy

By doing anything I want to do

Don’t care what other people say

They don’t know who I am

They can only judge me, say I am lazy girl, I am weak girl

Without understand what I feel

Sad of myself

I keep it in the deep of my heart

Never going to let them know

Like they who don’t want to know

I take myself out of the world

never let anyone else come to my life, again

I am tired can’t being myself

They demand me to do what they do

They always try me to become someone who they expecting

They did not try to understand what I feel

And now,

I am alone, no one beside me

Every day, every time, every second

I just look like zombie

Have no feeling, no target, no willing, hoping

I am dead soul

Walking in the dark of life

Happiness,

Guess what, I’ve tried everything to be with you

I got you but only for a moment

You leave me,

I try again, I got you, and again, you leave me

I wonder, why happiness not lasting

I lost in my way

I am alone, I am tired, I am lonely, I have no one (by Sari Edellwais)

My life 

Lonely life

Lonely mind

Lonely heart

Lonely sit

Lonely fun

Lonely work,

Lonely talk,

Lonely thoughts,

Lonely death,

Lonely walk,

Lonely run,

Lonely friend,

Lonely crying,

Lonely recess,

Lonely eat,

Lonely sick,

Lonely burning,

Lonely loneliness...

Lonely dies… (red colour: poem by Siawash Rustami)

Rabu, 10 September 2014                                         18:39 p.m

Ketika sedang jatuh cinta saya selalu berfikir bahwa saya tidak akan pernah bisa melupakan orang tersebut.  

Tapi ternyata saya salah, sekarang saya merasa sudah bisa melupakan dia yang dulu sangat saya cintai.

Saya berfikir bahwa setiap kenangan adalah seperti sebuah asap di atas udara yang lama-kelamaan akan menipis dan kemudian lenyap tanpa bekas.

Begitulah saya menganalogikan semua kenangan manis maupun pahit saat bersamanya, mereka bagaikan segumpalan asap yang akan lenyap seiring waktu berlalu.

Satu kejadian akan menutup kejadian lainnya.

Dengan begitu kejadian bersamanya akan ditutup dengan kejadian yang sedang atau akan kita jalani nanti.

1 July 2014

We used to be best friend even more..
But now we're not...

Something About You...

I don't know how to explain it, If only you could truly see, How much I really care for you, How much you mean to me. I look forward to seeing you every day, The grin that belongs only to you, When I see you I can't help but smile, There is just something about you. My heart suddenly beats faster when you are get closer, I wish I could tell you right then and there, That my life could never be better. When we gradually come close enough together, Nothing around us seems to matter, Because there is nothing sweeter than this. No words could ever express how much you mean to me, I hope you have these feelings for me, too; I can't figure out just what it is, But there is definitely something very special about you.

---

Whatever

I'm not me
when you are not with me
I can't get you off my mind
I can't sleep at night
I got so much fright
My hands clasp finding your grasp
My eyes wet tears shed
My heart is troubled
I can't go to bed
I wish my pillow is you
So I can kiss and
hug you through
I so miss you